Friday stuff and items

CHOOKS!

We have spoken before of our fondness for literary chickens. And it seems the Mothership (as well as HRH The Prince of Wales) also has a thing for chooks. May we present The Illustrated Guide to Chickens - get thee to a book store, chicken enthusiasts!

Some breeds of chicken have wonderfully eccentric names. For your pleasure, and ours, here are some that took our fancy:

Pencilled Hamburg

Plymouth Rock

Scots Dumpy

Marsh Daisy

Booted Bantam

Gold Laced Polish

Frizzle

BOOKS!

Eleven Beloved Children's Books with Seriously Dubious Lessons. Hilarious.

LOOK!

A few recent arrivals in the House. So much to be excited about here.

SNOOKI!
'Poor grammar and spelling can lead to confusion... and threesomes.'

John Green talking about grammar and its importance to social discourse? Yes, please.

A few more open letters

Dear 4-colour process printing,

You are very clever. I love the way you make all those millions of rich and beautiful hues from just four little colours. I also like how most of your colours are dressed up in fancy names - Cyan, Magenta, Key - but Yellow is just plain old Yellow. I want you to know that I value and appreciate you... so I hope you won't be offended to hear that I'm using PMS 806 on the cover of a book I'm sending to the printer today. It's just that it needs to be really PINK - you know?

with warm wishes for our future relationship,
Editor
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Deadline,

Yeah... it's not really working out between us.

keep it real,
Ed
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Dear Staccato Short Sentences,

I love you. I truly do. Less is more. For sure. Most of the time. I am also enamoured of variety. Allow me to introduce you to my friend, the comma.

Yours in anticipation,
Paragraph
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Dear Quark,

It's not you, it's me.

farewell,
Design team
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Dearest, most cherished and most beloved Coffee Machine,

We miss you in the morning; we miss you in the evening; we miss you at supper time.

Please come back soon.

Eternal love,
Everyone

A few open letters...

Dear Compound Adjectives,

On the surface, your rules seem so simple and easy to follow, but underneath you are confusing and convoluted. Why?

regards,

A possibly ignorant but willing-to-learn editor

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Dear Adverbs,

I am writing to inform you that we can never be friends. I admit that used appropriately (See what I did there?) you can add to the richness and flow of a piece of writing. But the simple fact is: I don't trust you. You have a nasty habit of ganging up with your friends and stealing all the thunder from the poor innocent verbs.

Sincerely,

An editor dashing hurriedly out the door to hungrily wolf down her lunch

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Dear Participle Phrases at the Beginning of a Sentence,

Listening to your lack of rhythm, I quickly lose interest.

Best,

Trad.

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Dear Split Infinitives,

Don't listen to them. I will boldly go where ever you wish to lead me.

Yours,

To edit

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Dear Microsoft Word Grammar Check

You suck.

Ed.
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Dear Australian Pine Trees

Why do you have branches that grow straight upwards and are thus virtually impossible to hang decorations on? Perhaps you should take a leaf (as it were) out of your northern cousin the fir tree's book. Horizontal branches only, please. It would be appreciated if you could have this implemented by next year.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Tree Trimmer