Further adventures of open letters

Dear Corrections,

Why do you need me to check up on you all the time? It's unprofessional. You should be able to check yourselves by now.

Please implement this by our next meeting.

Sincerely,

Editor

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Howdy Proof Pages,

I understand that you are ready for my attention, but your cover is making its debut this week and it's a little more self-conscious in public than you are, so I need to beautify it first.

Thanks for your patience,

Editor (& Stylist)
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Attention: Production Schedule

Please remain calm. All items are in a well-managed queue. We will make the deadline.

From: Eternally Optimistic Ed.

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Dear Mini-chocolate-bars-from-the-charity-box-on-top-of-the-fridge.

I wish I knew how to quit you.

E.
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Dear Fanfare for a Witch (1954),

I only bought you at the op-shop yesterday because I liked your title and your cover design. I am unlikely to ever actually read you. I just wanted to make that clear from the outset so there is no misunderstanding between us.

regards,

Pathological Book-buyer