24 March 2010

Agent Report: Somerset Celebration of Literature

Attend the Somerset Celebration of Literature. Soak up the atmosphere. Be nice to Onion authors (and any others you happen across).

STATUS: Accepted (with alacrity).

This literary festival, organised by Somerset College on the Gold Coast, has been running for 17 years. Much beloved of authors, it is friendly, fun and extremely well-run.


Ah, the Gold Coast - California crossed with Florida, and wherever you go there's a five-lane highway between you and the beach. [With thanks to Sean Williams.]

Green, green lawns and white marquees.

Cocktail party - a balmy evening with gentle rain. [Note from HQ: agent did not notice it was raining due to balminess of evening, perhaps agent needs to work on observational skills on return to HQ.]

The Green Room - cake!! (authors only). [Note from HQ: restricting cake consumption to authors may be an illegal practice. Investigate under the Freedom of Cake (FoC) legalisation.]

Slight panic attack and flashback to schooldays at lunchtime as students start pouring out into the quad. When did schoolkids get so huge? [Note from HQ: In future, do not deploy shortest agent to deal with large students.]

Huge students actually all very friendly and welcoming, do a great job of looking after the authors, and seem genuinely keen and interested.

Speaking to the fiercely smart & witty student novella finalists is like being in a John Green novel.

Helpful staff and willing parents seem to be always on hand to ferry everyone around in buses & cars.


John Danalis: sharing his beautiful possum skin cloak and lots of sniffles in the audience
Sofie Laguna: 'Okay, she chops them up and eats them!'
Craig Silvey: being asked to choose - is it Twilight or Harry Potter? Pirates or ninjas?
Kate Constable: snorting peas through her nose [Note from HQ: This sighting is in dispute.]
Leigh Hobbs: wrangling a tent full of littlies with no paper and no pencils. Impressive.


Agent Constable's report.


Highly successful operation. Agent has asked to be deployed again. Consider her highly suited to mission if she can curb her fear of large school children and quadrangles.


What Kate did next ... said...

Agent Constable wishes to clarify that she was not *actually* snorting peas out her nose, she was recounting a *story* about snorting peas out her nose. Two completely different concepts.

While dignity was abandoned on the final night of the festival, specifically on the dance floor, at no stage were actual peas snorted.

The Alien Onions said...

Thank you, Agent Constable. Your clarification has been noted and will be taken under advisement.