2) Editor & designer discuss cover possibilities.
3) Designer googles images for inspiration.
4) Designer & editor fall in love with an American - a six-foot fibreglass alligator and decide to:
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- invite him to Australia;
- hire a studio for cover shoot;
- send him to book launches around the country for 8–12-year-olds to sit upon.
5) Alas. Alligator suffers from otitis medea and doesn’t care for travel.
6) Designer & editor reconvene. Agree upon new strategy of asking author to act as crocodile talent-scout from his home town: Darwin – a croc mecca!
7) Author responds to the challenge with alacrity, armed with mobile phone camera. Soon, hopeful candidates are vying for attention in the croc call.
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No. Too plump and soft.
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No. Too articulated.
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No. Too pale and spotty.
What ho!
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8) Decision made, failed candidates informed not to call us we’ll call them, Croc B invited to Melbourne.
9) Croc B duly arrives in Express Post satchel and settles into new home on the Onion first floor. Designer feeds him chicken-flavoured instant noodles.
10) Now for the design. We have a series style to consider: the Dog cover.
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11) But we can’t have a cigar on the cover, and the blue is too similar to the Dog’s blue. Even if it is water instead of a doona.
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12) The green isn’t right either, and Croc B has lost his Capone-ness along with the cigar, despite the designer-enhanced bullet holes.
Time to re-think.
13) Here’s Capone, his namesake. Let’s make a crime-novel cover!
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14) Or a Vegas croc?
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15) But it’s still not right. We return to a Dog-like approach.
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16) Now we’re getting somewhere, and Croc B loves his new fedora and tie. But the type is too much like white chocolate, and we are enamoured of the darkest Lindt around here.
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17) Bingo! Croc B is happy, designer is happy, everyone’s happy!
Now for the back cover…
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This story brought to you by A Croc Called Capone & The Dog that Dumped on My Doona. With special guest appearances by author Barry Jonsberg, and Onions, Hilary & Bruno.
2 comments:
Brilliant! Informative and funny :D
That is one extremely dashing croc!
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